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Post by djembekah on Dec 2, 2016 21:26:45 GMT
Congrats Dylan! I think that totally fits this thread
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Post by lishd on Dec 2, 2016 22:02:32 GMT
dylan, could i ask you about that? i mean this totally respectfully, so please let me know if i'm being unintentionally disrespectful. i like you & i want to understand you better.
you're non-binary. i know that's pretty much The Most Unique for each nb person, but i'm just asking for you here. i understand wanting top surgery since breasts are seen as pretty binary, but why start T? i know my perception of you doesn't matter & i've only seen like three photos anyhow, but... you seem pretty androgynous from what i've seen, so wouldn't starting T make you appear more masc? & then i reread that & i'm all "duh it doesn't matter how they PRESENT it's how they FEEL" but... i don't get it & i want to & i don't know if i even can get it but i'd be honored if you'd help me understand a little.
but also feel free to tell me to fuck off if you prefer. :) this is your business, not mine, & i wouldn't even ask if you weren't posting publicly about it.
i hope that wasn't shitty of me. i just have questions & i want to understand, but i don't want to be cishet scum.
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Post by dylanwhat on Dec 2, 2016 22:35:09 GMT
dylan, could i ask you about that? i mean this totally respectfully, so please let me know if i'm being unintentionally disrespectful. i like you & i want to understand you better. you're non-binary. i know that's pretty much The Most Unique for each nb person, but i'm just asking for you here. i understand wanting top surgery since breasts are seen as pretty binary, but why start T? i know my perception of you doesn't matter & i've only seen like three photos anyhow, but... you seem pretty androgynous from what i've seen, so wouldn't starting T make you appear more masc? & then i reread that & i'm all "duh it doesn't matter how they PRESENT it's how they FEEL" but... i don't get it & i want to & i don't know if i even can get it but i'd be honored if you'd help me understand a little. but also feel free to tell me to fuck off if you prefer. this is your business, not mine, & i wouldn't even ask if you weren't posting publicly about it. i hope that wasn't shitty of me. i just have questions & i want to understand, but i don't want to be cishet scum. Hey, no prob about asking, I know you're being respectful Well firstly, the further I get into transition the more I understand from a very bitter and dysphoric kind of way that there's no such thing as the perfect space of androgyny that I could hope to embody. Maybe for some people there is, but for me even if I looked perfectly androgynous, half the time people would gender me as female since people tend to gender you one way or the other based upon a flash judgement rather than spending time guessing or deciding they can't work it out and being chill with that. I'm honestly really happy that you think I look androgynous, but the pictures I put out are very select and carefully taken to mask my feminine facial features as much as possible. Because the way I see my face is that it is so hyper-feminine (especially since I'm overweight and all, massive case of babyface) that in general daily life I can in no way hope to look androgynous when I smile/move (also why I never smile in photos) and especially when I speak. The moment I open my mouth people's minds are made up for them and no amount of voice training is gonna do what T can within a few short months. Also I pretty much want everything that testosterone can give me, deeper voice, facial/body hair, fat redistribution, genital growth, more energy (yay!), no periods (double yay!), easier to gain muscle and all the other things that I'm probably forgetting minus perhaps the recurrence of my 13 year old pubescent acne and extra body odor. That said, I probably won't be on T more than a couple years, since I don't want the deepest of voices, but basically I want to be consistently gendered as male. Even though I hate men as a general rule, I don't consider myself in any way masculine at all, living in a male social role is pretty ok for things like work environments and stuff where I'm not gonna be close or personal with people, it's easier to just say I'm trans and be out as a trans guy if I'm out at all since that's pretty much how I want my body to look despite feeling no connection to men/maleness/masculinity at all. Tbh it basically boils down to I want to distance myself as much as possible from being gendered female, I've had a lifetime of that so far and it's taken its mental toll. And for my own body, I'd rather it look more masculine than how I can get it right now. Sorry for the essay, it feels pretty good to write it all out though.
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Post by lishd on Dec 3, 2016 0:37:38 GMT
dylan, first off - THANK YOU. i love that you wrote me an essay because i'm constantly trying to understand all of this & not be shitty... & it's extra difficult when it's such an individual thing. so thank you for letting me into your individual thing. :)
that all makes sense & i'm happy to understand you better. we don't know each other well, but i'd count you as acquaintance & i'd like to count you as friend, so... yeah. hugs to you for sharing so openly.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2016 6:43:26 GMT
dylan, first off - THANK YOU. i love that you wrote me an essay because i'm constantly trying to understand all of this & not be shitty... & it's extra difficult when it's such an individual thing. so thank you for letting me into your individual thing. that all makes sense & i'm happy to understand you better. we don't know each other well, but i'd count you as acquaintance & i'd like to count you as friend, so... yeah. hugs to you for sharing so openly. It's so nice to see someone who is actually respectful with their questions and such about trans/nb/andro things. Like seriously, it puts a smile on my face.
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Post by rayne on Dec 3, 2016 6:57:47 GMT
I like seeing these kinda of things. People are allowed to be genuinely curious about something and there's no disrepect or worry about affecting anyone feelings because people want to learn and grow and be informed about things outside of their own personal bubble. I dunno. It makes me fuzzy inside to see all of this acceptance.
I haven't been terribly hungry over the past week and I've lost a decent amount. Now I just need to keep this up.
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Post by dylanwhat on Dec 3, 2016 15:52:23 GMT
dylan, first off - THANK YOU. i love that you wrote me an essay because i'm constantly trying to understand all of this & not be shitty... & it's extra difficult when it's such an individual thing. so thank you for letting me into your individual thing. that all makes sense & i'm happy to understand you better. we don't know each other well, but i'd count you as acquaintance & i'd like to count you as friend, so... yeah. hugs to you for sharing so openly. !! You're really cool and it's nice to be invited to share, cause everyone's perspectives on their gender/body/whatever are so different it's nice to have questions asked in a respectful way so we can all feel comfortable sharing. You've done a lot to make me (and others) feel comfortable here, and I really respect you for that! It's so nice to see someone who is actually respectful with their questions and such about trans/nb/andro things. Like seriously, it puts a smile on my face. I like seeing these kinda of things. People are allowed to be genuinely curious about something and there's no disrepect or worry about affecting anyone feelings because people want to learn and grow and be informed about things outside of their own personal bubble. I dunno. It makes me fuzzy inside to see all of this acceptance. Seriously major hugs and love to all of you guys here! You have no idea how much it means for this place to feel as safe and welcoming as it does. Especially since body mods and piercings are a major outlet for defeating my dysphoria (I'm pretty sure this applies to a lot of others too), this has become a wonderful marriage of things that make me happy! Also more on-topic: I walked the dog with my mum today, so I have done some extra moving!
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Post by jebbewocky on Dec 3, 2016 19:38:14 GMT
Yay Dylan! I'm so happy for you.
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Post by lishd on Dec 3, 2016 20:09:45 GMT
!! You're really cool and it's nice to be invited to share, cause everyone's perspectives on their gender/body/whatever are so different it's nice to have questions asked in a respectful way so we can all feel comfortable sharing. You've done a lot to make me (and others) feel comfortable here, and I really respect you for that! i just want to be a good ally. that'll be even more important than ever in Trump's America. thank you. <3
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Post by kazombie on Dec 3, 2016 23:55:11 GMT
Not quite a body change but I had my first Gender Identity Clinic appointment today! After a year and a half on the waiting list. Normally they do three initial appointments for the assessment, but since the waiting times are so long, my assessment was done all in one appointment! My therapist was really nice and pleased with my life timeline of gender dysphoria and said there should be no issue with me getting a GID diagnosis from the doctor, and put me straight on the doctor's waiting list (which is about a year or more) right away! So in this new timeline, if I get my doctor's appointment in December 2017, then I could be starting T by early 2018! And getting top surgery by 2019! That's maybe a year earlier than my previous most conservative estimate. Go you! Also getting T sounds like a freaking hassle in the states @-@ I don't think it's that tedious where I live. Althought I've never had to go through the process
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Post by PiercedOff on Dec 4, 2016 0:08:46 GMT
I think Dylan is in the UK? Though I might be remembering wrong.
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Post by lishd on Dec 4, 2016 0:15:53 GMT
Also getting T sounds like a freaking hassle in the states @-@ I don't think it's that tedious where I live. Althought I've never had to go through the process yes it's very T-DIOUS
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Post by dylanwhat on Dec 4, 2016 12:45:09 GMT
Also getting T sounds like a freaking hassle in the states @-@ I don't think it's that tedious where I live. Althought I've never had to go through the process Yeah, I am in the UK, I've always been under the impression it's really easy in the states if you have the right insurance or can afford it or something. The US medical system sounds complicated and terrible though, but at least you guys use informed consent in some places. In the UK it's simple but lengthy. We don't have to pay, but you do pay in waiting time and jumping through hoops I guess. Oh that pun is fabulous A++ the best
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2016 16:39:51 GMT
Yeah, the US healthcare system is shit, especially if you're under government/state funded insurance programs. I'm lucky and surprised that I can even get T-blockers as easily as I can despite being on the fore mentioned insurance programs. I really half expected for that to be one of those "specialty" things they wouldn't let me have.
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Post by justine on Dec 4, 2016 16:48:07 GMT
Yeah, I am in the UK, I've always been under the impression it's really easy in the states if you have the right insurance or can afford it or something. That plays a huge part in it. Just look at Catelynn Jenner.
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